Continuation
I just got back from watching 127 hours— I guess all in all today turned out pretty well. Also I realized how much I love saying “Contemplating suicide” followed by a laugh in response to “What’s up?”
Simply because people laugh with me. To be totally honest, there are some people that I’m close to that I wish never became a part of my life. I hate talking to them, I hate the way they act, and I hate the way they talk to me. But what can I do?… if my friends are their friends, I just have to live with it.
After all, if it wasn’t for that I’d probably be completely alone… I don’t know why I’m such a girl about it -_- I really don’t. But I seriously can’t stand the idea of being alone. I mean, I can be isolated, sure. I could go days, weeks, even months without talking to my friends if I needed to.
But the idea of nobody being in my life. That nobody cares. That nobody will ever be here for me when I need them… It drives me insane. I don’t care how much it hurts, I need someone to lie to me right now.
I need someone to look me in the eyes, tell me that they love me, that they’ll always be here for me, and that everything’s going to be okay.
I don’t care about the pain anymore.
Because even being broken down to the point where I can’t even breathe is better than this hollowness.
So please, lie to me. Tell me that I matter to you.
(Source: whatistimtang)
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